Hi. I’m Dennis and I’m a writer, performer & entrepreneur based in Los Angeles. I’m also a former cruise ship dancer, which I like to lead with because people find it colorful.

I’ve plied my trade in a bunch of different media—books, podcasts, magazines, TV, film, radio, board games, dance. I keep hoping that someday one will take.

It’s been a ride.

I was born and raised in Holbrook, Arizona, which is one of those small towns on Route 66 that was nearly wiped out when the interstate highway went in…kind of like in the Pixar movie Cars, but without the whimsy.

My dad managed and later owned gas stations. I never pumped gas or changed oil but I sometimes helped my mom with the bookkeeping and when I was counting the money, it was very important to me that all the bills face the same way.

When I was about ten, my family bought a restaurant called Gabriel’s Pancake House. The tagline was “30 Meals Under $1.50.” I’m old.

When the Who Shot J.R.? phenomenon was unfolding on the nighttime soap Dallas, I organized a Who Shot J.R. at the restaurant. The poster I made for it, with pictures of the suspects I cut out of People magazine, rocked so hard.